This is more than an intellectual exercise- understanding is only the first step in the process of positive change. So use the special exercise sections in this book-“Self Check,” “Putting Ideas into Action,” and “Think About This”- to heighten your awareness about what is really going on in your relationships and begin incorporating these powerful tools into your life.
Be assured that the concepts presented here are based on solid behavioral science theory, widespread human experience, and of course, on twenty-five years experience as a student and professor of Communication Studies, more than 35 years as a wife and mother, and a lifetime as a passionate seeker who would not cease until the answers were found. They’re here! I promise! Good luck and good love.
Virginia L. Downie
In this little book you find the essential tools for building great relationships that actually work!
TOGETHER: A Relationship Survival Kit
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Together: A Relationship Survival Kit is about doing relationships differently. Here you learn the basics for building relationships that actually work:
- the five most essential relationship survival tools-acceptance, accountability, clearing, no defense, and supportiveness.
- how to use these tools to transform your relationships to the ones you desire and deserve.
- how to spot and to avoid the most common roadblocks to relationships: stuff, ego, defensiveness, and offensiveness
- how to use language that works and avoid language that doesn’t work
- how to identify, understand, and solve the real issues in your relationships.
This is the book I needed when I was 23, young mother of three with more to come, and not sure why my life was not working out the way I always dreamed it would. “How could it be,” I wondered, “that a well-intentioned, reasonably bright, nice girl like me could be so confused and disappointed with the state of her relationships?” “ Was I wrong? Had I just chosen the wrong people to accompany me in my life? Didn’t I deserve to be happy and fulfilled?” AND :”What in the world was I doing wrong?”
These are the questions that sent me searching and led me into the world of human relationships–communication studies, psychology, and tons and tons of self-help books, I read them all. From east to west, north to south, I devoured them looking for the answers. “Why are relationships not working out?” “Why are so many marriages ending in divorce or boredom?” “How is it that couples start out so much in love and wind up so much in apathy?” “Can’t humans get along?” AND “What about those lucky ones who seem to have it all figured out?” “How do they do it? How do they stay in love or in friendship?
I had a driving need to know and a burning belief that there is indeed, a way, to have it all, that there are answers to all these questions and this is what has fueled my passion and kept me hot on the road of discovery.
It’s been a long and sometimes painful journey, and I have come to believe, even more than before, that building great relationships is clearly possible, almost unavoidable if we will just clear away the roadblocks that deter us, plow through the debris of misinformation, misdirection, and downright foolishness that the world has heaped upon us, grasp the right tools and go to work!
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